HARARE. As evidence mounts that dictator Robert Mugabe may try to use force to cling onto power, desperate Zimbabweans have turned to icons of the retro paramilitary community for help. “We have a problem,” says opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai. “No-one else can help. If we can find them, maybe we can hire the A-Team.”
According to Tsvangirai the decision to ask the Los Angeles-based A-Team for help had been a unanimous one after the Movement For Democratic Change had seen an episode in which Hannibal Smith and his team of loveable mercenaries saved the townsfolk of a small Mexican village from a corrupt and brutal mayor who hated homosexuals and the British.
“The only problem is finding them,” Tsvangirai said this morning. “The trouble is that in 1972 they were sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit.
“They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground, where today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.”
He said his MDC party had left messages in various bars and restaurants in and around Los Angeles, but so far neither he nor his colleagues had been approached by a thickset elderly man in drag – the trademark disguise of Smith.
Asked how he hoped the A-Team might resolve the crisis brewing in Zimbabwe, Tsvangirai said that he was “just looking for the usual”.
“Lots of shooting, a really fantastic car chase, a few exploding police cruisers, a helicopter – and of course some great one-liners.”
He added that if he could find the A-Team, and show them a briefcase full of American dollars without actually naming any figure, as was their modus operandi, he was certain that Mugabe’s planned coup would crumble.
“I pity the fool,” said Tsvangirai.
Whahaha! Ek dink dis histeries snaaks! Hierdie ouens is SKERP! En dis nodig om bietjie te lag oor die ernstige goed in die lewe ook. Ek dink as ons die dag nie meer vir onsself kan lag nie, kan ons maar netsowel omdraai en doodgaan.
Vir nog van hierdie berigte, gaan kyk by Hayibo.com.
