Things men wish you knew

Maart 18, 2009 · Geliasseer in Ek Wonder, Ernstig, Ry hom Bloots, Snaaks, Sommer net, Vir 'n goeie doel

Hierdie is na aanleiding van Boendoe se possie. Wat sy daar bespreek het, is ‘n ernstige saak.

Wat ek nou hier gaan plaas, is half tong in die kies – maar ek dink tog daar steek baie waarheid in. Ek bedoel, dinge wat snaaks is, is op die waarheid gebasseer, nie waar nie? As ons nie kon identifiseer met iets nie, sou dit mos nie vir ons snaaks wees nie?

Ek verkies om na dinge te kyk van die snaakser kant van die lewe. En as dit kan help dat mans en vrouens mekaar beter verstaan, wonderlik!

Take notes, girls! En die manne kan sekerlik laat weet hoeveel hiervan waar is… anders verstaan ons mekaar nogsteeds mis! 

• Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong.
• You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
• If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get.
• Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
• When I screw up, go ahead and tell me – ONCE!
• My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
• Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
• Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain’t pretty.
• You can have sex with us anytime you want. Seriously.
• When we watch rugby, we will pay attention to you if you’re nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
• I don’t ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
• We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it does not always have to lead to sex.
• But you can have sex with us anytime you want. Did we mention that?
• There is no better sound in the world, than you, having an orgasm.
• Though the exhaust note of a Porsche is pretty damn fine, too.
• I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. you really weren’t looking for the truth anyway.
• When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
• You’re really, really bad at faking it.
• If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you’re late.
• Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
• Giving me 2 or 3 choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly…
• I love to show you off.
• Unless we’re meeting my parents.
• When you call us at work “just to chat”, we’re not listening; we’re checking our e-mail.
• Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us beer during the game.
• We don’t mind being told that we look good. Just don’t call it a “cute outfit.”
• We love long hair and ponytails.
• Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
• The first time? We’re as nervous as you are.
• A random, unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
• Make us laugh, and we’ll want to hang around.
• Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will. Deal with it.
• Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman’s problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
• You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
• No, I don’t remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I’m a guy, not a tape recorder.
• Do not expect to have a conversation via sms unless you use the words “naked” and “waiting.”
• Anytime you cook for us, we’re happy.
• We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
• And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
• We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, “Do you think she’s pretty?”
• Never say, “I know you better than you know yourself.” Nobody does.
• But you can have sex with us anytime you want. Did we mention that?
• Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks!

Ek dink nie ek het nodig om enige iets anders te sê nie. Maar Demoerin se Neutedop-wense pop onwillekeurig in my gedagtes op …

Geniet dit terwyl julle nog kan, mense! More is ons dalk nie meer hier nie. Ek bedoel, rerig, if you have to die, at least die happy?!

Uhm… NS… Met beskerming, natuurlik – Rosa watch julle!