Lekker Braai

Oktober 30, 2009 · Geliasseer in Pret, Snaaks, Sommer net, Spoeg-en-plak

First of all, you’ll need ingredients

- 12 cases of beer (Black Label)
- 9 bottles of Klippies
- 4 2lt Cokes (for mix)
- 4 2lt Coke Lights (for the tjerries and vet Gert)
- 1 bottle of Sourz (for the tjerries and your wife’s moffie cousin [there is always a moffie cousin])
- 3 5lt Late Harvest papsakke (for the tjerries)
- 1 Springbok (they’re useless anyway)
- 5 meters of Kaas Wors (from Slaghuis)
- 5kg tjops (from  Slaghuis)
- 5kg T-bone (from Pick ‘n Pay)
- At least 5 tjerries (to stand in the kitchen and make salad and prepare the buns and all that kak)
- 1 Half gallon drum braai
- 10 bags of Charka
- 4 boxes of Blitz
- January  - August  ”Boxburg Expresses ”
- 1 hose pipe
- 1 bucket


Saturday:
05:00: Throw 2 bags of charka, January through March’s Expresses and a half a box of Blitz in the drum, and light the mofo – for a good solid braai foundation..
05:35: Open 1 bottle of Klippies and one 2lt Coke.
06:15: Mutter to yourself that you’re sure they’re making the Klippies bottles smaller these days, and crack open a beer.
06:20: Go check that no one stole the meat from under your carport during the night.
06:30: Beer
06:35: Beer
06:45: Sms your mates to tell them “Today’s going to be a fo$%en jol china!!”
06:55: Explain to your mom that you accidentally sms’ed her and that you would never swear at her.
07:00: Beer
07:20: Microwave some of last night’s Mac n Cheese for breakfast.
08:00: Wake up your goose so that she can go spinning.
08:30: Walk around the house (and yard) naked while you’re goose is at spinning class, making sure that everything is going good. – Check on the fire.
08:45: Gooi in another bag of Charka and the rest of the first box of Blitz.
09:15: Explain to your goose that the reason you’re walking around naked is to get rid of your snoring problem – You read this in Men’s Health
10:00: Give her money to go buy buns and stuff for the slaai.
10:15: Stop arguing and give her more money to get her hair done.
10:20: Give her your credit card.
10:30: Sit down to watch some tv and have a few beers.
11:30: Wonder where the first case of beer went, take one from the second case.
12:30: Look at your 7 cases of beer and decide that it should still be enough for the guys.
12:55: Tell your goose that you only had 1 or 2 beers and that she shouldn’t moan so much.
13:00: Vet Gert and his goose arrive – open 2nd bottle of Klippies and the Coke light, and open 1 papsak for his wife.
13:45: Feel a slight buzz.
14:30: Look at the 3rd bottle of Klippies and squint.
14:45: Feel buzzed more.
15:00: By this time should be everyone there.
15:15: Charka another bag of throw on the braai and open a beer.
15:30: Kak praat and beer
15:45: Ask the tjerries if the ready is buns and the buttered is slaai.
16:00: Klippies praat and kak
16:30: Arm wrestling competitions with moffie the cousin
16:50: Say to everyone that you win him let.
16:55: Suck petrol out of Vet Car’s Gert to just in case..
17:15: Give the Springbok a USN endorsement and let him go (Tee hee).
17:30: Meat the rest of the braai on the put and beer another have.
18:00: The more needs to fire burn, get the petrol.
18:45: ARWYP Medical Centre – Burn grade 1st wounds.
19:30: House at back – Gert thank for beer open another braaing and the 6th bottle of Klippies.
20:30: Open Sourz bottle of 8th and hand Klippies out shooters of.
21:00: Tell love that you everyone them, especially Gert Vet Wife and your Vet Wife.
21:30: Finish the last beer of Klippies and case of bottle.
22:15: ARWYP Cedical Mentre – Stomach Pump

Sunday:
03:45: Eat.

Onthou tog om tussendeur die rugby te kyk! GO BULLE!

invitation

16 Responses sover »

  1. 1

    bierpens said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 10:30 vm

    Julle vageet .. Chetahs jag in troppe ook ….

    Reply
  2. 2

    Toast said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 10:45 vm

    Ek kla jou by die SPCA aan.

    ORANJE!!!

    Reply
  3. 3

    Savanha said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 11:06 vm

    :lol: GO BULLE!!!

    Reply
  4. 6

    meermin said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 11:33 vm

    Dellie check gou gou jou inbox ek het jou hulp gou gou nodig !!

    Reply
  5. 7

    Vlam said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 12:02 nm

    Don’t cry for me Loftus Versveld
    The truth is
    you’ll never manage
    to beat the
    Cheetahs
    Although you want to
    my heart is bleeding
    purple piepie…

    Reply
  6. 9

    Verdwaalde Gulpie said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 1:24 nm

    Whaaaaaa

    Dellie ek het jou leaf

    Hier’s ek.

    Reply
  7. 11

    Verdwaalde Gulpie said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 1:25 nm

    Welkom in Welkom

    Reply
  8. 12

    Koekie said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 8:16 nm

    Bulle!

    Reply
  9. 13

    Vlam said,

    Oktober 30, 2009 @ 9:59 nm

    Dear oprah. . . I’m 15years old, I’m from brakpan. I’m pregnant and my parents don’t know. My boyfriend is bisexual, HIV positive, he is a drug dealer, he’s married, 20 years older dan me and is into animal porn! My problem is. . . How do I tell my parents he’s a BULLS SUPPORTER . . ?

    Reply
  10. 14

    Vlam said,

    Oktober 31, 2009 @ 11:47 vm

    Wat noem jy ‘n blou bul wat Saterdag ‘n bottel Champagne vashou gehou het?…….
    ‘n WAITER

    Hoe hou jy drank weg van die bulle?
    Gooi dit in die Curry Cup

    Wat doen n Blou Bul ondersteuner as hy klaar die Curriebeker gewen het? ….. hy sit sy Playstation af!

    Reply
  11. 15

    Vlam said,

    Oktober 31, 2009 @ 8:29 nm

    *snik*

    Oukei…

    Boohoooooo………………

    Reply
  12. 16

    Dellie said,

    November 1, 2009 @ 3:08 nm

    Sorry Vlammetjie my maaikie my pel – die beste span het toe gewen!

    EKKE LIEF DIE BLOU BULLE EMMERS VOL!!!

    Whhhhhoooo-hoooo!

    Reply

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