Police got a call one morning from the owner of a motor home. He had been inside his motor home when he heard weird noises from outside. Apparently, a thief was trying to siphon gas from his vehicle. (Siphoning is when you transport liquid from one place to another, usually using a rubber hose. You gotta suck on the hose to get the liquid moving, sometimes getting a mouthful.) This thief sure got a mouthful – of sewage! He’d suck from the wrong tank. Police found vomit on the ground beside a young man who was curled up in a ball. No charges were pressed cause the owner thought the dumb thief had suffered enough!
When a robber’s .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up, the robber did something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down die barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time it worked!
A guy comes into the police station, telling the officer working at the front desk he would like to bail out his friend that was arrested earlier. The officer asked the would be good Samaritan to come through the metal detector. As he does, the detector alarms, the officer asks him to remove the contents of his pockets and place them in the basket. The guy fills the basket with a wad of cash, his keys, a pack of gum and his bag of dope! Uhm, who’s going to bail HIM out?
A crook was arrested after he took a shop dummy hostage. The gun-wielding robber threatened to shoot the life-like mannequin if the cops made any attempt to capture him. A police spokesman said “He was either blind as a bat, dumb, or both.”
Two characters in the United Kingdom held up a post office. When they went outside, they found their getaway car had been stolen. One of them had left the keys inside. They flagged down a passing car with the intention of using it as a getaway. Unfortunately for them, it was a police car.
An Illinois man kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
A woman was arrested after a mechanic found 18 packages of marijuana neatly packed inside the engine compartment of the car she had brought in for an oil change. The woman later confided to police she hadn’t realized the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
A man walked into the local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that is was substandard, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
A man robbed the same 7-Eleven store twice in one day. He told the clerk during the second robbery that he’d be back in a few hours to rob it a third time. Sure enough, he returned a few hours later and was arrested by detectives still in the store investigating the first and second robberies.
A man wanted a free case of beer. He decided he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab a case or two, and run. He lifted the cinderblock over his head and heaved it at the plexi-glass window. It bounced back, hitting him on the head and knocking him unconscious. To add insult to injury, the entire event was captured on video tape by the store’s surveillance camera.
As a woman exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. Within minutes a man matching the description of the suspect was brought back to the store by police to ask the woman if they had the right guy. When they pulled up, the suspect saw the woman and told the police “Yes officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break his former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a rather large hole in his stomach.
Liewe Ding, dit is nou hoe “dom soos grond” lyk. En dis beslis nie jy nie!