Our Future…

Your Stars Foretell : By S. Com (The Future Made Clear – dark, but clear-eish)

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 21): Things will be pretty dark for you today, unless you remember to buy new torch batteries.

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 21): You’ll probably eat cold, raw food again today. Try to remember to get that gas cylinder filled! Be cheerful, though, and remember that your ancestors lived like this and survived – 25,000 years ago.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 22): There will be a programme on TV tonight that you’ll love. Bummer that you can’t watch it ’cause it’s on during your allotted “block” in the Eskom disco derby…

Cancer (Jun 22 – Jul 23): Thought you were smart buying that generator? But we know you’re going to run out of fuel tonight and the nearest working petrol station is 20km away. As you get there, we’ll cut their power… Sorry.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 24): Another morning without that essential cup of coffee awaits you… If you make it to 10am we’ll reward you with enough power to make some, but by then you’ll probably have killed 3 people and severely injured a 4th. (Don’t worry, though. This is the New SA – you’ll probably get away with it.)

Virgo (Aug 24- Sep 23): Not for very much longer… What else is there to do after dark?

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 23): Your star-sign stands for fairness and justice. That’s why we’re going to hit your area with three 2hr outages a day, while the area where your local MP stays will enjoy uninterrupted power throughout.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 23): Your area’s assigned outage “block” is from 10:00 to 12:30. Expect the power to go off any time before or after that. And don’t think it will only be out for two-and-a-half hours, either.

Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 22): Today you’ll buy some food that is apparently within its sell-by date. What you won’t realize is that the sell-by date is for food that has been stored in a constantly operating fridge…. Although you’ll get severe food poisoning, we think you may survive if you can find an emergency ward that has back-up generators. Good luck!

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 21): Don’t bother to go to work today. During the hours when you actually will have electricity, your network provider will not, so you won’t be able to do anything anyway. Stay home and well…. there’s not much to do there either, is there?

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 20): Today you’ll get so fed up with our incompetence that you’ll decide to emigrate. We regret to inform you that this is no longer possible… The airports have all shut down, because – well think about it! They need electricity to run the place!! You ain’t going -nowhere…

Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 21): Today all your hopes and dreams will come true. You’ll have power during “Days of Our Lives”.

If today is your birthday: Use lots and lots of candles on that cake – even if they don’t reflect your age. How else are you going to see to open the presents? You will receive the ideal gift – your very own miner’s helmet!!

19 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    boendoe said,

    Ten minste bring jy darem nog ‘n smile in hierdie dae van gloom en doom! Ek is ‘n Libra, en ek hou nie van my voorspelling nie! Lyk my dis net Pisces wat in luck is…

  2. 2

    Dellie said,

    Hehe, Boendoe, ek is Cancer, en ek maak juis planne om ‘n generator te kry… maar nou wonder ek ernstig of dit die moeite werd gaan wees!😯

  3. 3

    CLAZINE said,

    Dellie, lyk my ek en Steve sal moet saam konkel! Ek’s ook ‘n Virgo.

    Ns: jy moet my nie so aanhaal nie ” vat hom aan die horings en ry hom bloots! hehe!!

  4. 4

    Dellie said,

    Clazine, deputy, daai sê-ding is al deel van my blog vandat ek begin blog het – dis ook my krag vir elke dag! Ek laat nie toe dat goed my sommer net onderkry nie. Die lewe is hopeloos te kort daarvoor! Tjorts!

  5. 5

    mykopop said,

    Oulik! Ek het my eie enetjie, maar ek dink ek spaar hom vir môre!

  6. 6

    Zee said,

    Thanks Dellie, lyk my Zee sal maar so 50 kersies op sy koek moet hê vannaand – Spar, hier kom ek alweer! 😆

  7. 7

    karoles said,

    Ek sal gou my voetspoortjie hier los …. ek is ook cancer, sê hoeka gister vir Janneman ons moet genoeg sappies vir die generator gaan koop, want anders help dit veel ons het hom!!!

  8. 8

    jeven said,

    Hi Dellie,

    Nou wat sal hierdie scorpio nou sê? GRRRRR…

  9. 9

    SONIA said,

    Hi Dellie

    Jy vra so mooi ons moet ‘n voetspoor los! Nou ja Hier is Hy!

    Hierdie Leo het genadiglik al haar koffie in, maar sien Nescafe wil nou nie meer my cuppuccino met die ekstra suiker maak nie!

  10. 10

    Koeksuster said,

    Dellie,

    Ons Virgo’s maak goed op in die donker.

    Ek het 2 dogters en n seun opgemaak – en toe ek wakker word….
    was hulle nog steeds daar!

  11. 11

    patches said,

    Dellie my ding, ek het nou waaragtig jou hulp nodig, ek was toe gisteraand (of sal ek sê vanoggend) tot half een wakker met daai damn blog van my. Ek kry die f*&^ken ding nie reg nie, hy wil nou maar net nie soos joune lyk nie, hoe plaas ek foto’s, en sulke dinge ommet mense dit te deel???

    Sorry ek laat vir jou ‘n comment hierso maar glo dit as jy wil ek kan nie my password onthou vir SSSB nie, ek sweer ek gaan nog ‘n hartaanval kry vandag, my oë blink soos dassie peepee in die maanskyn. Ek sweer al daai gesittery voor die computer het my arc eyes gegee.

    Kan jy my asseblief fokken tog help!!

    Ek skuld jou a takielatjie vir die een

  12. 12

    Dellie said,

    Haal diep asem, Patches, ek stuur vir jou ‘n e-mail!

  13. 13

    Christa said,

    Hi Dellie, eerste keer wat ek op jou blog spoeg. In elkgeval die eerste keer onder my regte naam. Bietjie gesukkel…. almal het eers gedink ek is ‘n man.
    Ek wil ook net my voetspore los..
    Ek is ‘n vis en volgens jou inskrywing gaan al my drome vandag waar word.. my “hopes and dreams” vir vandag is meer geduld. Hoop ek kry dit want dit is nou huiswerk-tyd saam met my seuntjie.
    Lekker dag verder.

  14. 14

    SHARKS said,

    Alles reg jy ….

  15. 15

    Platkuif said,

    op ‘n stadium gaan al die eskom jokes opdroog/verflou…en al wat oor gaan bly is ‘n paar baie die bliksem in suid afrikaners…

  16. 16

    CLAZINE said,

    Koeksuster,

    Ek maak ook “op” in die donker!

    Dellie, tjorts! (is f@kken warm hier in die “ou Wes Transvaal”)

  17. 17

    Dankie Dellie, aangesien TV uit is sal ek maar vroeg inkruip vanaand.

  18. 18

    Eben said,

    Lekker gesmile … ek is sommer eerste “Aries” en nuwe batteries sal ekke maar koop!!

  19. 19

    CLAZINE said,

    More sê baas!

    Lekker warm hier in die “ou Wes Transvaal” net reg vir ‘n koue enetjie sodra die boeing oor is!

    Lekker werk.


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