Marry me?

Reply to a Matrimonial Ad in Bangalore

Madam:

I am an old young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.

Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours

Jiyo

marriage.jpg

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13 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Karl said,

    More
    Jong as jy ‘n brandende begeerte in jou lende koester en daagliks wag soos beslag op jou vulsel, is hierdie dalk net die man vir jou.

    6 Duim is maar min, maar ai, dis darem in.
    Lekker gelag hiervoor – ek is seker daar wag ‘n moerse verassing op wie ookal hierdie balwipper gaan naderpluk.

    Lekker dag
    Karl

  2. 2

    platterfuss said,

    Hehehehe @ Dellie & Karl…

    Karl… brag jy, of dreig jy ons? LOL!!!

    Fanks vir die smile Dellie….. (((Dellie)))

    *mental note* Contact Jiyo urgently…..

  3. 3

    Zee said,

    Nee, nou verstaan ek nie…. I am gay! En nou wil hy trou! 😆

    Platseltjie, ek dink jy moet hom invoer aangesien hy so baie “pump” behoort hy goed in jou nuwe tuintjie te werk. Hehe

  4. 4

    Bottertjie said,

    Pumping, pumping, sê jy? Hy het pomp op sy brein.
    Dankie vir die lekker lag. Het vinnig kom inloer, ons deadlines is vroeër geskuif, want ons het more, Vrydag en Saterdag ‘n kursus vir Indesign en Illustrator.

  5. 5

    sonneblomseplekkie said,

    ‘looking up and hoping’ sê die knaap, hehehe… en LOL vir platt… 😀 ..dankie Dellie vir die smiles….

    Sterkte met jou kind se goeters jong. Gaan hy werk daar?

    Groetetjies
    Sonneblom

  6. 6

    netjane said,

    “I will be loving you very hard everyday”. Het nou lekker gelag.

  7. 7

    neykie said,

    “rapid balls that bounce alot”?

    lekker gegiggel vir die stuk dellie.

    Lekker dag

  8. 8

    boendoe said,

    O genade! Sy gelukkige bruid!

  9. 9

    Dellie said,

    Praat jy wat lippe het, Boendoe! O gonna, ek hoop hierdie arme man se bruid se Engrish is net so bad… dan sien ek hoe leef hulle happily ever after! 😆

    “That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.” 😆 Whahahhaa!

  10. 11

    Jasper said,

    Dit kan net ‘n baie gelukkige oujong oom wees wat slegs saam met homself lewe…. 😀

  11. 12

    Marina said,

    I just had a good laugh…and all…you know?
    🙂 🙂

  12. 13

    Dellie die ou klink nice, is ‘n catch! Ees goot.


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