A day without sunshine is like night.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of car payments.
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the heck happened?”
Just remember… if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.