Professional blog writer…

Hello, my name is Scott and I have been writing a blog for just over eight years. It is a great blog and contains the wittiest stuff on the internet. I have had over five hits on my blog during the time it has been running and not all of those have been people I asked to go there.

As a professional blog writer of the wittiest stuff on the internet, I recently decided to quit my job as head assistant chef in charge of pickles at McDonalds and focus full time on my writing career. Due to my unique creative spark and rapier sharp wit, my blog has had unprecedented success and just this week I had another hit. Apparently they mistyped ‘rim dent’ in google but it still counts. Being a professional blog writer is not all Moët and chicken nuggets though, due to server and hosting fees, I made minus four hundred and ninety dollars last financial year but my wife works three jobs and has a credit card so it all balances out.

If I had friends they would often ask me “Scott, what is the secret behind your champagne quality comedy?” and I would explain to them that it is just a gift and that some people are naturally born with an incredible creative spark while others just get to read it. Recently, I wrote about the time a bee flew in my car window and then flew back out. It was so funny and when I posted a link to it on World of Warcraft, a level 54 dwarf wrote back saying “awesome man” which made my day.

Once when I was online in my dwarf clan, I met a level 41 dwarf named Cindy and we fell in love despite her being below my status. I would send her poetry about warcraft and she would edit it for me. As my wife works a hundred and eighty hour week, this gave me plenty of opportunity to organise a liaison with Cindy in real life. After arranging to meet, I packed my dwarf costume and battle axe and used my wife’s credit card to buy a bus ticket to the town Cindy lived in. As it turned out, Cindy was actually a real dwarf. And a man.

Dividing my time between writing professionally on my blog and online as Scott the Invincible are not my only creative outlets. I am also a professional cartoonist. I am much better than Carl Schultz as my ideas are more clever and creative. I would describe my art as cutting edge with my ears to the street and if you don’t get my cartoons then ‘yo momma’ to you nigga. Here is one of my best cartoons, when I originally posted it my hits went up 400% and all four people said that it was unlike any professional material they had ever seen before.

The cartoon above is funny on two levels which makes it lateral. Firstly, I was looking at porn but said that I wasn’t so this is like British comedy and brilliant in itself without the rest. Secondly, I said “make it so” which is what Captain Picard says in Star Trek and I was wearing my Star Trek uniform when I said it. Do you get it? It is probably too clever for you.

If I could give one word of advice to anybody wanting to be a professional blog writer like me, it would be to realise that it does not matter what the subject is, the important thing is how I feel about it. Balance is also important, I find that the best ratio is to have ninety percent of the stories about me and how I feel about things and the remaining ten percent linking to stories about me and how I feel about things.

To commemorate my unparalleled success as a professional blog writer, I have released this limited edition, hand crafted T-Shirt featuring the internet’s finest blog writer with hit counter. Each shirt comes with a 15 day free trial to World of Warcraft and an autographed photo of me wielding my battle axe.
Own your very own piece of the internet today!

Click here to get your Limited Edition Go Scott! T-Shirt securely online now!

Bron

😆 Whahahaha! Scott klink vir my net soos ‘n sekere internet celeb… 😆

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25 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Wondernet said,

    PROES hoes kug 😆 @ Internet Celeb? 😆

    Skerp Dellie, Vlym skerp.

  2. 2

    meermin said,

    Lekker dag vir jou!

  3. 3

    demoerin said,

    😆 … laat dit tog net nooit met my gebeur nie!

  4. 4

    betsieboop said,

    Dellie – het jy nie die naam verkeerd nie? Is jy seker dit is Scott waarvan ons praat? LOL !!!

  5. 7

    boendoe said,

    O jinne. Nou’t ek nie ‘n idee van wie julle praat nie…of is dit agter af in die mou lag? :mrgreen:

  6. 10

    Jenny said,

    Whahahahaha! Vlymskerp Dellie!
    En ek’t aan dieselfde ding gedink, daai internet celeb…

  7. 14

    Pikkie said,

    ROFL – Ag nee koets Boendoe, ek voel soos ‘n dooie en tot ek weet dan…. 😆 😆 😆

  8. 15

    boendoe said,

    Ag ja, maar julle weet ek gaan mos met oogklappe deur die lewe… 😉

  9. 16

    Eben said,

    Hallo … hier is ekke ook !!! 😆

  10. 17

    Spook said,

    Go Scott go!
    Soek ‘n link na die man se blog…
    Wil graag deel wees van sy statistieke…. 😉

  11. 18

    anon said,

    domparra.wordpress.com —
    Terwyl julle so besig is met almal se sondes expose. Wil iemand nie vir Adelle uithaal nie. Sy beskinder almal op al die blogs. Ek sien sy spandeer haar dag om weer vir Frank Botha te beskinder op Daaglikse doos. Wie beskinder sy volgende?

    Ek is nou moeg vir Adell(i)e se dinge. Vir wie kan ek fotos van haar fikse lyfie en ander besonderhede van haar stuur?

  12. 22

    Suz said,

    Anon

    Ons is nie in die minste gepla of Dellie vet, maer,lank, kort, mooi of lelik is nie ons hou van haar net soos wat sy is. En of sy nou rook, drink of vloek of nie dit maak ook nie aan ons saak nie.

    En as jy mooi gaan kyk beskinder sy niemand nie, sy dryf die spot!!!!!!

  13. 23

    boendoe said,

    Oeee! Dis darem lekker as jy mense anoniem kan ‘uithaal’! Komaan, Anon, jy het ‘n naampie – deel hom met ons? Dan kan jy en Dellie mekaar ten minste op gelyke voet aanvat. (Of is dit dalk omdat JOU lyfie nie so hot is nie?) 🙄

  14. 24

    TristonJ said,

    Ek sal maar niks se oor Anon nie… perty mens aint worth the mention 😉

    maar vrek ek wil weet waar Scott blog… wil nie n oomblik van daai opwinding mis nie 😆

  15. 25

    […] jou toekom. Dink aan daardie klein plesiertjies, en dat jy dalk die geleendheid mag hê om ‘n professionele-blogskrywer te […]


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