Things women wish you knew…

Ja wel, na die vorige possie is dit seker tyd om vir die manne ook so bietjie tips te gee. Alles in die gees van “spreading the love”…

  • If we’re watching rugby with you, it’s not bonding – it’s their butts.
  • Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
  • Lay off beans several hours before bedtime.
  • Please don’t drive when you are not driving.
  • If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn’t ask the question in bed.
  • The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini skirts.
  • If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of “who’s easy”?
  • Stop telling us most male strippers are gay; we don’t care!
  • When you are not around, I belch loudly, too.
  • We don’t mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance – infact, please do!
  • When you’re with us, please wear “our” favourite outfit rather than “yours” – the torn jeans and t-shirt will last longer that way.
  • If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive or negative grunt.
  • Don’t insist that we “get off the stupid phone” and then not talk to us.
  • Eye contact is best established above shoulder-level.
  • Cleaning the house is not necessarily “women’s work”; besides, most of the dirt and clutter is yours anyway.
  • Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?
  • We go to the ladies room in groups to talk about you.
  • We love to get flowers for no reason.
  • It’s nice when you open the car door for us.
  • Foreplay starts hours before we go to bed – not 5 minutes before you want to jump our bones.
  • Your chances of getting into our pants, are much better if you are clean shaven and smelling nice.
  • Making us laugh, will increase your chances even more.
  • You smelling like a piece of smoked meat marinated in alcohol, is not a turn-on for us.
  • We hate dirty fingernails.

Tip for surviving PMS:

  • There is absolutely nothing you can do to escape the havoc created every 28 days.
  • Sure, it will end someday, but then you’ll be too old to notice.
  • Everything you say and do will be wrong during this awful time. Cope with it. Someone must bear the blame.
  • You can only pack up and go out with the boys if you are heavily insured, or have a death wish.
  • Pamper your woman! Shower her with love and attention.
  • Let her vent. Remember, she probably doesn’t mean everything she says.
  • Duck. A lot.
  • Making dinner will lessen the trauma, but take note: burnt food will only add to your pain. Order out.
  • Speak only when spoken to, and limit your replies to: “yes, of course you’re right, darling” and “those jeans never fit better”
  • Educate yourself on the magic pills your loved one prefers – keeping them on hand, is a bonus point for you.
  • Keep small children and other helpless creatures out of the way to keep casualties to a minimum.
  • Gifts and shiney tockens of affection is advised.
  • Always remember, you are up against something way beyond your power…

Enigiets wat julle wil bylas, dames?

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18 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Kendra said,

    Uitstekend Dellie!!!
    Ek dink jy het als gecover!

  2. 2

    PleinKommin said,

    Great Dellie, dit is als waaraan ek nou kan dink

  3. 3

    Suz said,

    Dellie ek het ook niks om by te sit nie. Hoop die manne lees en neem dit in.

  4. 4

    Koekie said,

    Whahaha! Oulik Dellie. Kan ook niks bysit nie.

    lol @ Always remember, you are up against something way beyond your power…

  5. 5

    boendoe said,

    Jinne, dis ‘n deeglike stukkie werk! Nou moet die manne net kom kennis neem…maar WAAR is hulle?? :mrgreen:

  6. 6

    koeksister said,

    Miskien moet ek dit copy en vir Kuifie in sy sak saam met sy lunchblik sit, iets om te lees terwyl hy eet.

  7. 7

    Flippen snaaks! Neem tog kennis, manne.

  8. 8

    Emil said,

    Het jy nie ‘n kort opsomming of studiegids nie? Dis blêddie baie om te onthou!

  9. 9

    Eben said,

    Ek stem Emil, om al die te onthou is ‘nag’!

    Maar Dellie gee mos klas, is daar nie so kort kurses(sie) wat ons kan bywoon vir die spangees Dellie?

    😆

  10. 10

    demoerin said,

    Sjoe, sal moet uitdruk en studietyd daarstel. BAIE lang lys.
    😆 @ oogkontak…. hehehehe

  11. 11

    Pikkelik said,

    Heerlik akkuraat en bykans volledig!!! Goed gedoen Dellerasie!

  12. 12

    BB said,

    Many truths – nou nie als nie – ek gaan pp nie saam in ‘n groepie nie – het nog nooit sal ook nooit – ek het ‘n heilige issue met (hoe seg my meisiekind so mooi in haar southern-Gautengse dialek) ‘privôôt sôke’ :mrgreen:
    Hier’s nogal ‘n insiggewende quote wat ek anderdag raakgelees het, Cupcake:
    “I would like it if men had to partake in the same hormonal cycles to which we’re subjected monthly. Maybe that’s why men declare war – because they have a need to bleed on a regular basis.” 😉

  13. 14

    meermin said,

    Al wat ek nou wil byvoeg is Môre Dellie geniet jou dag!

  14. 15

    Mavis said,

    More my favourite miesie banja dankie ek gaan daai oorlamse sipho stuur dat hy hie kom leer hoe om ‘n man te wees

  15. 16

    kyker said,

    Goed gedoen Dellie, maar dalk ook ‘n bietjie mors van goeie energie? Want so min of meer van die tweede punt af het jy ons mans al verloor en ons lees verder net ‘jakketie jakketie jakketie jakketie bla bla bla’. Hehehe.

  16. 18

    Johan said,

    Watse towerpille moet ons byderhand hou?


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