Vrydag funnies

September 12, 2008 · Geliasseer in Snaaks

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Marcus Brigstocke

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Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Jimmy Carr

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The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

Chris Addison

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My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Patrick Monahan

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The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died… Dido must be sh***ing herself.

Colin & Fergus

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My parents are from Glasgow which means they’re incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child … well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Susan Murray

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You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She’ll go: “What’s my favourite flower?”

And you murmur to yourself: “Sh*t, I wasn’t listening ..Self-raising?”

Addy Van-Der-Borgh

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The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.

Jeremy Limb

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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was “Shout For Help”.

Mark Watson

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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Demetri Martin

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I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud “I’ve already got one!”

Norman Lovett

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It’s easy to distract fat people. It’s a piece of cake.

Chris Addison

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If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.

Milton Jones

Daar is 'n slaggat net om die draai...

Jy sal seker hol in die lug dryf as jy hiermee probeer swem!

Wie het nou'n kar nodig?

Geniet die naweek! Ek sal julle Maandag weer kom lusmaak, of laat gril met die skaapkop foto’s!

Foto’s